Author: Mohammad Ramin

Categories
Friends

Bradford Adams

Some people enter our lives quietly yet leave an impact that reshapes the way we think about leadership and service. For me, that person is Bradford Adams.

I first met Brad during my time at the International Rescue Committee, where he served as Site Director. Even then, his leadership carried something rare an ability to balance vision with empathy, strength with kindness. He led by listening, by encouraging, by reminding people that their voices and efforts mattered.

In July 2025, when I established Unity to Serve International, I knew I needed guidance from someone with not only experience but also integrity and heart. Brad was the first person I turned to. I asked if he would be willing to share his fruitful ideas on how I could grow this new organization. Without hesitation, and without expecting anything in return, he accepted to walk beside me offering his time, his wisdom, and his support as a volunteer Strategic Adviser.

On August 12, 2025, when we inaugurated Unity to Serve International, Brad’s presence illuminated the moment. He did not just attend; he stood with us participating in the panel, sharing his insights, and showing what true partnership looks like. His support gave our new organization both credibility and courage.

What inspires me most is Brad’s continued commitment. His leadership is not confined to titles; it is expressed through his willingness to guide, advise, and help us shape a stronger foundation. His involvement reminds us that great leaders are not only those who achieve for themselves, but those who invest in others’ dreams.

As we move forward, I hold a deep hope that Brad’s wisdom and commitment will remain a guiding light for Unity to Serve International. With his mentorship, I believe we can grow into an organization that not only serves communities but also inspires others to lead with compassion, integrity, and vision.

Brad, your kindness and dedication have already written a remarkable chapter in our story. I am excited for all the chapters we will yet write together.

Categories
Leadership

Leadership with Empathy

While writing and reflecting on my leadership journey, I realized that my understanding of leadership has completely transformed from what it once was. In the past, I believed leadership was about control, organization, and authority. I thought a good leader was someone who could plan, manage, and make people follow directions effectively. However, my personal experiences and the lessons I learned from the Institute for Leadership Development (ILD) reshaped that belief entirely. I now understand that leadership is not built on power or position, it begins with love, empathy, and service.

My growth as a leader was not immediate; it came from challenges, reflection, and the willingness to change. Through my first leadership experience as the I-PACS Program Manager in 2011, I learned that leadership is about people, not positions. It is about caring for others, building trust, and creating an environment where people feel valued and motivated. That realization continues to guide my personal and professional life today, especially in my nonprofit organization, Unity to Serve International.

The Beginning of My Leadership Journey

My leadership story began when I started working on a Civil Society Organizations project funded by USAID through Counterpart International and implemented by CRDSA, a local NGO in Herat province, Afghanistan. It was my first major leadership role, and I was excited to make a difference. The project aimed to strengthen local civil society organizations, and I was responsible for managing a team of seven individuals from different provinces and backgrounds, each with unique perspectives, experiences, and expectations.

At first, I believed that my role as a leader was to set plans, assign tasks, and ensure that everything was done efficiently. I thought professionalism and structure alone would motivate the team. I planned team assignments, created schedules, and pushed for results. But as time passed, I noticed something was missing. My team followed instructions, but there was no enthusiasm or collaboration. Team members were hesitant to share their ideas or voice their opinions during meetings. There was no sense of unity, even though we were working toward the same goals.

This made me question my approach. I began to wonder why my efforts weren’t producing energy or excitement. I had the position and title, but I wasn’t truly leading. That realization was uncomfortable, but it was also the moment that pushed me toward growth.

Rediscovering the True Meaning of Leadership

As I reflected on my challenges, I remembered what I learned at the Institute for Leadership Development. One concept stood out—the theory of servant leadership by Robert K. Greenleaf. This philosophy emphasizes that true leaders serve first. Leadership is not about commanding others, but about supporting and uplifting them. I recalled one of my instructors saying, “When you lift others, you lift the mission.”

I realized that I had been leading from authority rather than authenticity. I focused on tasks and performance instead of relationships and understanding. I expected respect because of my title, not because of my empathy. That insight changed everything.

I began to shift my leadership approach from control to connection. I started asking questions instead of giving commands. I listened carefully to my team members’ ideas and challenges. I made time for personal conversations and expressed genuine appreciation for their efforts. Slowly, I noticed positive changes: the energy improved, people began smiling during meetings, and collaboration started to happen naturally.

The transformation was not instant, but it was meaningful. My team began to trust me, and I learned to trust them. We went from simply working together to truly believing in one another. That experience showed me that when people feel seen, heard, and valued, they bring their best selves to the table. Love and empathy, I discovered, are not soft traits—they are the foundation of strong leadership.

Lessons Learned Through Experience

This leadership experience became one of the most powerful lessons of my career. It taught me that leadership is about service, not superiority. Love in leadership means showing kindness, understanding, and respect even when facing challenges. It means recognizing that people are not just workers, they are individuals with dreams, emotions, and stories.

A key strategy that helped me grow as a leader was reflection. Just as a writer revise to improve clarity and purpose, a leader must reflect, analyze, and adjust. The results of this self-awareness were visible in my team’s improved morale, communication, and outcomes.

Another lesson I learned was humility. To lead with love, one must have the courage to admit mistakes and the openness to learn from others. I learned that being a leader does not mean having all the answers; it means creating a space where everyone can contribute their strengths.

Growth and Transformation Through Co-Serve International

My understanding of servant leadership deepened further through my participation in the 2024 Oregon Servant Leadership Academy, a transformative 17-day program organized by Co-Serve International. This program brought together participants from Kazakhstan, Nigeria, Ukraine, and Afghanistan to explore leadership through empathy, integrity, and self-awareness.

Throughout the course, I met extraordinary individuals whose actions reflected their words. Their examples demonstrated that servant leadership is not merely a management approach but a way of living and serving others. I learned the art of intentional listening and the value of embracing others’ needs with a non-judgmental attitude.

We studied servant leadership principles and observed their real-world application during visits to organizations that had successfully practiced these values for decades. These visits offered practical insights into how compassion, humility, and purpose create thriving workplace cultures.

We also engaged in deep self-reflection through activities like developing our Talent Shields, identifying our strengths, and understanding how our personalities—symbolized by elements like earth, fire, water, and wind, shape our leadership styles.

The Co-Serve program also emphasized love and hope as guiding principles of leadership. Love represents genuine care for others, while hope inspires belief in positive change and the potential for growth. These two values now form the heart of my leadership approach, reminding me to nurture trust, empower others, and foster optimism even in times of challenge.

Application in My Nonprofit Work

Today, as the founder of Unity to Serve International, I strive to embody the principles of servant leadership that I learned through ILD and Co-Serve International. Our mission is to empower communities through compassion and service and reflects the same belief that leadership begins with love. I lead my team with empathy, ensuring that each person feels valued and heard. This culture of trust and collaboration has become our organization’s strength.

Every new initiative begins with the question, “How can I serve my team and community better?” This mindset has guided successful youth programs, refugee support efforts, and community-building activities. I have learned that when leaders focus on serving others, success naturally follows.

Looking Toward the Future

My leadership journey is far from over. I continue to practice empathy, listening, and humility in every area of life. In the future, I hope to bring servant leadership education to schools and youth programs, so that young people learn early that leadership is not about control, it is about care.

Leadership is an ongoing process of growth. Every challenge brings a new lesson. I now understand that mistakes are not failures, they are opportunities to grow stronger and wiser.

Conclusion

Looking back at my journey from uncertainty to understanding, I have realized that leadership is not about being in charge, it is about caring for those in your charge. It begins not with strategy but with sincerity. It grows not from authority but from empathy.

When I embraced servant leadership, I discovered that love is not just an emotion, it is an action. It is expressed through listening, patience, kindness, and respect. Leading with love transforms not only teams but entire communities.

The most powerful lesson I have learned is simple yet profound: leadership begins with love because love builds trust, trust builds teams, and teams built on love can truly change the world.

Categories
Thoughts

Why I Chose These Five Core Values

With 14 years of experience in the nonprofit sector, I’ve had the opportunity to work closely with servant leaders in various capacities and hold leadership roles across multiple organizations. My journey has been shaped by a commitment to continuous learning, including reading over 40 books, attending 20+ workshops—particularly in leadership—and constantly improving my skills. This dedication has allowed me to develop a deep understanding of purposeful, authentic leadership. Through ongoing self-assessments and reflection on my leadership style, I’ve strengthened my ability to lead with purpose and clarity. My best leadership skill is the ability to inspire and empower others, fostering collaboration and trust to achieve common goals. These experiences have not only shaped my leadership approach but also guided me in defining core values that influence how I lead and drive my work every day.

    Integrity and Ethical Leadership

    Integrity is the foundation of my leadership. In managing grants and resettlement programs, I’ve learned that trust and transparency are vital for aligning actions with ethical standards and organizational goals.

    Compassion and Empathy

    Working with refugees and marginalized communities has shown me the power of compassion and empathy in helping others overcome challenges. These values are central to providing the support individuals need to thrive.

    Collaboration and Teamwork

    I value collaboration as it fosters diverse perspectives and shared success. Effective teamwork drives positive outcomes by supporting one another and building a collective vision.

    Innovation and Continuous Improvement

    Adapting to change is crucial in our evolving landscape. Innovation and continuous improvement allow me to refine processes, enhance efficiency, and make a lasting impact in the work we do.

    Accountability and Transparency

    Accountability and transparency are core to building trust. I hold myself and my teams to high standards, ensuring we meet goals with honesty and reliability.

    These core values are the result of years of reflection and professional development. Through leadership programs, books, and personal assessments, I’ve deepened my self-awareness, shaping how I lead and interact with others. Ultimately, these values define my leadership, approach to challenges, and ability to build stronger, more resilient teams and organizations.

    Categories
    Thoughts

    From Hard Work to Leadership: My Journey of Growth

    When I started my professional career as an Admin Procurement Assistant at Catholic Relief Services in 2009, leadership wasn’t something I focused on. I was committed to doing my job well, staying dedicated to my work, and striving for excellence. At that time, leadership wasn’t even on my radar. However, in 2010, when I transitioned into a new role with the Creative International Ambassador Small Grant Program to Support Gender Equality in Afghanistan (ASGP) as a Capacity Development Technical Assistant (CDTA), I had a profound realization: everything rises and falls on leadership.

    That moment became a turning point for me. I recognized that strong leadership could influence not only the success of an organization but also the development of the people within it. This sparked a journey I never imagined I would embark on – a journey of intentional growth with leadership at its core.

    To deepen my understanding, I enrolled in the Leadership Development Program at the Institute for Leadership Development (ILD) in 2010, a year-long program in Herat. It was there that I first grasped the power of influence and the profound impact a leader can have on those around them. This realization changed my perspective forever. Since then, I have committed myself to continuous learning and growth in the realm of leadership.

    I have read several influential leadership books, including Developing the Leader Within You by John C. Maxwell, Leadership Is Language by David Marquet, Leadership Strategy and Tactics, Extreme Ownership, and The Dichotomy of Leadership by Jocko Willink, as well as Dare to Lead by Brené Brown and The Speed of Trust by Stephen M.R. Covey. Additionally, I completed the Exercising Leadership: Foundational Principles course at Harvard University. These resources have significantly shaped my approach to leadership and furthered my commitment to continuous growth.

    I have also participated in various leadership programs, including the Co-Serve International Servant Leadership Program in 2024 and the First Alumni Summit in Denver, CO. Through these experiences, I’ve had the opportunity to share my learnings through speaking and writing, helping others on their own leadership journeys.

    Now, 15 years later, I look back on my leadership journey with a sense of awe. I once thought I had learned everything I needed to know, but the more I’ve grown, the more I’ve realized just how much more there is to learn. Leadership is a lifelong journey of self-improvement. It’s not until you take a step back and reflect on how far you’ve come that you truly see the distance you’ve traveled. It’s like revisiting your childhood home years later – it seems smaller than you remembered, but the journey that has brought you to this point is much greater than you realized.

    Through leadership, I’ve experienced a transformation that goes beyond professional growth—it has been a journey of profound personal development. Leadership has been the catalyst for my self-discovery, deepening my self-awareness, strengthening my self-esteem, and guiding me toward self-actualization. It has taught me the power of self-reflection and the unwavering strength of resilience. Most importantly, leadership has shown me how to ignite the potential in others, empowering them to become the best versions of themselves and inspiring them to reach heights they never thought possible.

    One of my greatest passions now is to share what I’ve learned about leadership. I want to help others understand that leadership isn’t just about managing people – it’s about growing yourself and helping others grow too. Leadership isn’t a destination; it’s a journey. It’s about continually learning, developing new skills, and becoming more than you ever imagined.

    If you’re reading this, I hope it inspires you to start your own leadership journey. Whether you’re just starting or looking to level up your leadership skills, remember that growth is a continuous process. There’s always more to learn, more to do, and more lives you can impact. I’ve experienced firsthand how leadership can change lives, and I’m excited to see where your leadership journey will take you.

    Categories
    Thoughts

    “A Legacy of Education”

    Imagine being a child, desperate for a new pair of shoes, but the only shoes you have are cheap plastic ones. Your father promises to buy you what you want, but when the time comes, he can’t deliver.


    Today, I’ll share how my father’s sacrifices and his powerful belief in the value of education shaped my journey, helped me overcome challenges, and inspired me to create a better future for my children.

    The Struggle with Poverty and Material Desires

    When I was in 4th grade, I looked around at all my classmates and saw them wearing shiny, fancy shoes. They walked into class with such confidence, their shoes gleaming and new, while I sat there in my plastic shoes—worn, cracked, and barely holding together. I wanted those fancy shoes more than anything. I wanted to feel like I belonged, like I wasn’t different. I asked my father, begged him for those shoes, hoping he would understand how badly I wanted them. I remember the look in his eyes when he promised, “When your shoes wear out, I’ll get you the fancy shoes you want.” I held on to that promise like a lifeline. Every day, I looked at my shoes, hoping they would fall apart so I could finally wear something that would make me feel normal.

    But when the day came, when my plastic shoes finally gave up on me, I went to my father, my heart racing with anticipation. I thought, This is it. He’s going to keep his promise. But when he came home that evening, instead of the fancy shoes I had dreamed of, he brought me plastic shoes. I felt the ground fall away beneath me. The tears started to burn in my eyes, but I couldn’t let them show. I felt my heart break in a way I couldn’t explain. It wasn’t just that the shoes weren’t what I wanted, it was that the one thing I had asked for, the one thing that felt like it would make me worthy of my classmates’ world, was something my father couldn’t give me.

    I was so embarrassed. I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t just get me those shoes. It wasn’t like it was asking for the moon. Why couldn’t I have something as simple as fancy shoes? I felt like I didn’t matter, like I wasn’t important enough to deserve the same things everyone else had. I didn’t just feel different, I felt invisible. And as I held those new plastic shoes in my hands, I felt smaller than I ever had before. The other kids would see my shoes and know—I was the one left out. I wasn’t part of their world. I wasn’t good enough.

    Main Point 2: A Father’s Sacrifice and Wisdom
    The next day, I didn’t go to school. I stayed home, too embarrassed to face my classmates, too ashamed to walk through the door with my plastic shoes. I thought if I just stayed hidden, no one would notice how different I was. When my father came home that evening, I overheard my mother telling him that I hadn’t gone to school. I froze, feeling a wave of dread wash over me. I was terrified. I thought he would be furious. I imagined him coming into the room, his eyes burning with anger, ready to punish me for my defiance. Why didn’t you go to school? I braced myself for the beating I thought was coming.

    But when he came to me, he didn’t raise his hand. He didn’t shout. Instead, he sat down beside me, his face soft and full of concern. His voice was gentle, but firm. “I know you’re upset,” he said. “I can see it in your eyes. But life is tough, Ramin. I am doing the best I can for you, and I wish I could give you everything you want. But what I can give you, more than anything, is an education. You keep studying, you work hard, and one day, you won’t just be able to buy shoes—you’ll be able to buy a better life. You’ll be able to create the future you dream of.”

    In that moment, something changed inside me. I wasn’t just hearing words. I was feeling them, deep in my heart. I realized then that the shoes weren’t what I needed to feel whole. It wasn’t the fancy shoes, the thing I thought would define me, that would make me happy. What I needed, what I truly needed, was the knowledge my father was trying to give me—the understanding that education was the key to unlocking everything I dreamed of. My father, despite all the things he couldn’t provide, was offering me something far more valuable than material possessions: he was giving me the power to change my life. He was giving me the chance to rise above the poverty that had defined our world.

    His words washed over me like a wave of understanding. He couldn’t give me fancy shoes, but he was giving me something far greater—the opportunity to create my own future, to carve out a life filled with possibilities, not limitations. I didn’t need to be defined by the things I didn’t have. I had the chance to create a life where I could have everything I ever wanted, not just for myself, but for my children, for the future.

    Main Point 3: The Role of Education in Changing My Future

    My father’s words became the foundation upon which I built my future. I realized that if I wanted to break free from the cycle of poverty, the key was education. It wasn’t just about good grades, it was about honoring my father’s sacrifices, the dreams he had for me that he could never fulfill himself. I threw myself into my studies, not only to succeed but to show him that his belief in me wasn’t misplaced. Education became my lifeline, my way out, the bridge to a life I once thought was unreachable.

    As the years went by, I began to understand just how profound my father’s gift was. He couldn’t give me wealth or material possessions, but he gave me the most powerful tool of all—knowledge. That was the tool that would change everything. Today, as I study Communication Studies at Diablo Valley College (DVC) in California, I realize that I am living a dream my father could never have imagined for himself. His hope for me was that I would rise above the limitations of our circumstances, and in pursuing my education, I am finally fulfilling that dream.

    Education opened doors I never thought was possible. It gave me the opportunity to break free from a life of hardship and create a future I once thought was out of touch. And in doing so, I am carrying my father’s legacy forward—one of sacrifice, hope, and the belief that a better life can be built through the power of learning.

    Passing on the Legacy to My Children

    In August 2024, when I enrolled my son in school, my wife bought him a pair of fancy shoes, the same kind I had always dreamed of as a child. As I watched him put them on, I was overwhelmed with emotion. It wasn’t just about the shoes themselves, but what they represented: a better life, the life my father had always wanted for me, and the life I now have the privilege of providing for my children. In that moment, I realized that I had come full circle. The dream my father had for me—to give me a future beyond the limitations of our circumstances—was now being realized through my own children.

    Tears filled my eyes not out of sadness, but out of profound gratitude. I was witnessing a tangible reflection of all the sacrifices, all the struggles, and all the hopes that had shaped my own life. It was a reminder that the very things I once lacked, material comforts, opportunities—were now within my reach, and I was able to offer them to my own children. But more importantly, I was able to offer them the one thing that truly mattered: education.

    As I shared this experience with my wife and children, I told them, “You are incredibly fortunate to live in a place where education is within your reach and where your parents can provide for you. Never take that for granted. Education is the key to everything. It’s the foundation upon which you will build your future.”

    In that moment, I felt a deep sense of purpose. I want my children to understand that their future will not be shaped by material things, but by the knowledge they gain, the hard work they put in, and the choices they make. Just as my father’s words guided me, I am now passing that same belief in the power of education on to them. My father gave me the opportunity to change my life, and now, I have the honor of doing the same for my children. This cycle of hope, sacrifice, and opportunity is what keeps me going, and it’s what I want my children to carry forward.

    Closing Thought:
    Education is the foundation for everything we want in life. It is the most powerful tool we can use to build a better future—not just for ourselves, but for our families and our communities. My father’s sacrifice gave me the gift of education, and I will ensure my children understand its value. Thank you.

    Categories
    Friends

    “My Experience with the McAfee Family”

    Have you ever stepped into a world so different from your own that it transformed your perspective on life?

    My experience staying with the McAfee family was just that—a heartfelt immersion into American culture that illuminated the resilience and openness we can all share.

    From July 12 to July 28, I had the incredible opportunity to stay with Ralph and LeeAnne McAfee as part of a co-serve servant leadership program. This experience allowed me to connect with individuals from a background wonderfully different from my own, and it was truly eye-opening.

    Before this journey, my interactions were primarily within my own cultural community. The McAfees welcomed me into their home with open arms, treating me like family in a way I hadn’t anticipated. Their warm hospitality touched my heart; LeeAnne lovingly prepared meals for me, each dish a reminder of the familial love I cherish back home in Afghanistan. Yet, I was also introduced to American dishes I had never tasted before, igniting my curiosity about their culinary traditions and deepening my appreciation for their culture.

    Despite the differences, I discovered common ground in our shared values of hospitality and kindness. Just as in my culture, where we honor our guests with warmth and respect, the McAfees embodied those same principles. Our conversations flowed effortlessly, revolving around cultural traditions—especially marriage and family—revealing striking similarities in our values, despite our different customs.

    One of the highlights of my stay was hiking together to a breathtaking waterfall. The journey was not just about reaching the destination; it was about bonding over shared experiences and enjoying nature’s beauty together. We also celebrated my graduation from the program, a moment filled with joy and camaraderie as we took pictures and created lasting memories.

    My cultural background shaped my perception profoundly. Coming from Afghanistan, I hold a strong sense of community and hospitality close to my heart, making me even more grateful for the McAfees’ generosity. Their kindness resonated deeply, reaffirming that the bonds of humanity can bridge any divide.

    Overall, my time with Ralph and LeeAnne McAfee was not merely an opportunity to engage with a different culture; it was a transformative journey of personal growth. I learned the invaluable importance of openness and acceptance, recognizing that our differences can enrich our understanding of one another. This experience taught me that hospitality knows no borders, and that kindness and respect are universal truths.

    I left their home with a deeper appreciation for American culture and a renewed understanding of the profound connections we can forge across cultural divides. It’s a reminder that, no matter where we come from, our shared humanity can create bonds that transcend any boundary.

    Categories
    Education

    “Having Difficult Conversations in the Virtual World”

    As part of my personal development journey through the IRC’s learning opportunities, I recently completed the insightful course, “Having Difficult Conversations in the Virtual World.” This course proved to be a transformative experience, providing me with essential skills for navigating challenging discussions—a crucial leadership ability that strengthens relationships and fosters effective team growth in professional, volunteer, and personal contexts.

    What I found particularly valuable was how the course addressed the complexities of virtual communication, which I encounter frequently in my remote work. In a virtual environment, where non-verbal cues are often absent and managing conflicts or delivering constructive feedback can be more challenging, this course equipped me with practical techniques to handle these conversations with confidence and skill.

    Key Learnings:

    • Effective Communication: Master the core elements of communication that enhance both professional and personal interactions.
    • Active Listening: Cultivate and apply active listening skills to better understand and engage with others.
    • Emotional Dynamics: Gain insight into how emotions play a crucial role in difficult conversations and how to manage them effectively.
    • Conflict Role: Explore the dynamics of conflict and its impact on conversations, and learn strategies to address it constructively.
    • Conversation Framework: Develop a structured approach to guide and resolve challenging discussions.
    • Virtual Strategies: Implement effective strategies for managing difficult conversations in a virtual setting, ensuring clarity and constructive outcomes.

    Overall, this course has not only enriched my ability to handle tough conversations but also enhanced my overall communication skills across various spheres of my life. Whether dealing with professional challenges, volunteering efforts, or personal matters, the knowledge gained is invaluable and universally applicable.

    Categories
    Thoughts

    “Lessons on Borrowing and Lending”

    Money plays a significant role in our lives, serving as a tool that can greatly influence our stability, security, and overall well-being. While it cannot buy happiness directly, having adequate financial resources can alleviate stress, create opportunities for growth, and provide a sense of security that contributes to a more fulfilling life. However, the way we manage our money, particularly in terms of borrowing and lending, can have profound effects on our relationships and personal happiness.

    My own journey has vividly illustrated these truths. In various phases of my life, I encountered financial difficulties that led me to borrow money from friends. I hoped that these temporary solutions would help me through tough times without straining my relationships. I also lent money to others, believing that my support would strengthen our bonds and offer them the relief they needed. Despite my best intentions, these actions often led to unexpected complications and strains on my relationships.

    One of the most challenging lessons came when I needed to recover the money I had lent. Many of the friends I had helped were unable to repay me, which was especially difficult during personal crises, such as when I was ill or when my daughter was sick. The disappointment of not receiving the support I had hoped for, despite having extended so much help, was deeply disheartening. When I found myself struggling to pay my rent and needed assistance, the friends I had once supported were not there for me. This lack of reciprocity intensified my feelings of isolation and helplessness.

    Yet, amidst these trials, I also experienced the profound generosity of friends who stepped up during my most desperate times. Their support when I was unwell and when my daughter was sick was invaluable. Their kindness highlighted the true meaning of friendship and genuine compassion, providing me with a lifeline when I needed it most.

    These experiences have taught me a crucial lesson: while the impulse to help others is natural, borrowing and lending money can lead to complications and misunderstandings. Money has a tendency to strain relationships and create difficulties that are hard to resolve. It’s essential to build a strong financial foundation through prudent budgeting and saving so that we can navigate life’s challenges independently and avoid risking our relationships.

    My heartfelt recommendation is to save as much money as possible. In times of need, you may find that there are no readily available sources of support, and you could face very tough situations. By preparing financially, you ensure that you can handle unexpected challenges on your own, preserving both your financial stability and your relationships.

    In conclusion, my journey has underscored the importance of financial independence and maintaining clear boundaries in our relationships. Managing our finances wisely and appreciating the genuine support we receive allows us to safeguard our future and honor the valuable connections in our lives. True support is about understanding our own limits and nurturing the relationships that truly enrich our lives.

    Categories
    Immigration

    “From Hope to Hardship”

    As an immigrant who arrived in the United States in April 2022, I came with dreams of a new beginning and a fresh start, filled with hope and anticipation. After the devastating fall of Afghanistan on August 15, 2021, I envisioned America as a land of opportunity where I could rebuild my life and secure a brighter future for my family. I imagined a place where my hard work would be rewarded, where stability and prosperity were within reach. I dreamt of finding a good job, a comfortable home, and a chance to finally experience the freedom and security that had been elusive in my homeland. The promise of America was a beacon of hope, a vision of success and happiness that seemed just within my grasp. But as I soon discovered, the reality of life in the United States was far from the ideal I had imagined, revealing a far harsher and more challenging landscape than I had ever anticipated.

    The financial burden was immediate and overwhelming. Despite the promises of support, the assistance I received was severely limited. The maximum direct aid of $1,025 per person, known as “Welcome Money,” was only enough to cover rent and security deposits, with just $150 to $200 allocated for both adults. There was no further rental assistance, and sometimes, community partners like MCC might provide a month of Zakat for rent after a rigorous assessment—if you met their requirements.

    Refugees who come to the United States legally are eligible for public benefits. For a family of four, this means $1,366 each month, with $650 to $750 allocated for food. However, after the second month, the case is discontinued, and food benefits increase to $920 if one adult secures a job making at least $2,000 per month. Once the income reaches $4,200, all benefits are abruptly cut off. In a housing market where two-bedroom apartments cost between $2,300 and $3,000—and often exceed $2,800 to $3,000 when including utilities, laundry, home insurance, electricity, garbage, sewer, and water—this support falls alarmingly short. With additional car expenses of $150 for insurance or financing, families are left with almost nothing to cover their daily living costs.

    My journey began with a mechanical shop job, a field entirely unfamiliar to me. The work was incredibly challenging, as I had no prior experience in mechanics and had to learn on the job. I struggled with complex repairs and unfamiliar tools, which made every day a test of patience and skill. Despite the difficulties, I took on this job to support my family, navigating a steep learning curve while grappling with the physical demands of the role. But I took it on to support my family and manage our living expenses. In addition, I worked as a DoorDash delivery driver. For just $6 per delivery, I frequently traveled 6 to 10 miles to pick up food and another 15 miles to deliver it. This role demanded relentless precision and perseverance. Navigating to the correct apartment, carefully placing the food at the door, and taking a photo of the delivery were small yet significant challenges. Each task is added to the daily grind, making the work both physically and mentally exhausting.

    After some time, I realized that the mechanical job was not for me and started looking for a better opportunity. Within my second month in the United States, I managed to secure a job with IRC as a caseworker assistant. At the same time, I activated my Amazon Flex account. On weekends and late into the day, I took packages without knowing where they would be delivered. My first package was valued at $75. As I began delivering, I encountered remote areas in Oakland, which presented their own set of challenges. I spent five hours driving avenue by avenue late into the night, almost until 11 PM, to complete the delivery. The biggest challenge was the intense drive to the Amazon hub; arriving late meant missing packages, and missing this window even once could lead to account deactivation. One day, I got stuck in traffic and missed opportunities, which led to my account being suspended after three occurrences, with no chance for reactivation.

    After a year of holding my driving license, I finally managed to activate my Lyft account, bringing a glimmer of hope as I began driving for Lyft and Uber. However, the job proved to be a grueling challenge. For just $5 per ride, I had to drive 7 to 12 minutes to pick up a rider and then another 10 to 15 minutes to drop them off. The job was physically demanding and mentally exhausting, requiring long hours and constant vigilance. I had to navigate traffic, deal with unpredictable passenger behavior, and maintain a high level of customer service. Passengers would occasionally report issues such as being too talkative, too quiet, or even complaints about cleanliness or driving speed. Accumulating more than five such reports could lead to permanent deactivation of my account, adding to the pressure. An attempt to add a new car led to my account being deactivated due to an incomplete inspection form. Despite my best efforts to resolve the issue, the account remains inactive. The job required grueling 12-hour shifts over weekends, just to earn between $250 and $300, while the wear and tear on my vehicle rapidly diminished its value. The constant stress and the financial strain made it a relentless and challenging endeavor.

    Although I am fortunate to have an education and the ability to navigate these challenges, many refugees who do not speak English face an even harsher reality. They are often trapped in cycles of anxiety and depression, overwhelmed by the uncertainty of their new lives.

    Access to healthcare poses a significant challenge for refugees, as the system is often complex and difficult to navigate. Scheduling necessary appointments becomes nearly impossible due to this complexity. Activating MyChart accounts, which are crucial for managing health services, can be a lengthy and frustrating process. Without access to MyChart, refugees may spend hours on the phone just trying to secure an appointment. Even when they manage to get one, urgent care visits can involve waits of up to four hours, adding to their stress and frustration. This prolonged wait time exacerbates their suffering and compounds the overall difficulty of managing their health in an unfamiliar system. The combination of bureaucratic hurdles and long wait times contributes to a sense of helplessness and intensifies the challenges faced by those seeking care.

    Education for children presents an additional layer of difficulty for refugee families. Parents must navigate school districts that are often stretched to their limits, with enrollment processes that can be lengthy and cumbersome. Securing spots in schools can be a drawn-out battle, especially in areas with high demand. For families with multiple children, the challenges multiply, requiring careful coordination and significant effort. Without reliable transportation, getting children to school regularly becomes a daunting task. The lack of a vehicle can mean long commutes or even missing school altogether, compounding the stress and uncertainty faced by these families. Ensuring that children receive an education while juggling other pressing concerns often feels like an insurmountable challenge, adding to the overall burden of resettlement.

    Despite the overwhelming stress and constant challenges, I am resolute in my commitment to building a better future for my children. The difficulties of life here are so profound that I often find tears welling up in my eyes, and my heart feels weighed down with sadness. Yet, the reality of Afghanistan’s worsening situation makes it clear that returning is not an option. We face immense struggles, but there is no hope for improvement if we go back. Therefore, I am determined to accept and adapt to our new life, striving to turn every obstacle into an opportunity. This journey is painful, but it fuels my resolve to provide a brighter, more secure future for my family, despite the hardships that continue to test our resilience.

    Categories
    Education

    Insights from My “Leaders of Learning”

    In the span of just two months, I ventured into the world of “Leaders of Learning” on edX, a journey that has been nothing short of a revelation. This course, offered by HarvardX, was more than an educational endeavor—it was a profound voyage into the heart of leadership and personal growth.

    Imagine uncovering the secrets to not only leading with vision but also cultivating an environment where learning is the lifeblood of innovation. This course has been a beacon of insight, illuminating the path to effective leadership with clarity and purpose. Here’s why this transformative experience is a must for anyone seeking to elevate their professional journey:

    This course is not just about learning; it’s about transforming how you lead and think. Here’s why this investment in yourself is absolutely worth it:

    1. Strategic Leadership Insights: I uncovered profound insights into strategic leadership, gaining the tools needed to drive success and inspire my team with newfound clarity.
    2. Creating a Learning Culture: I learned the art of fostering a thriving culture of continuous learning, which is essential for any organization looking to stay ahead in today’s fast-paced world.
    3. Practical Tools and Strategies: The course equipped me with actionable strategies to implement learning initiatives, manage teams effectively, and make decisions that elevate performance.
    4. Enhanced Leadership Skills: My ability to motivate and manage change has greatly improved, allowing me to handle challenges with greater confidence and effectiveness.
    5. Boosting Self-Confidence: Gaining new skills and applying them has boosted my confidence, making me eager to take on new challenges with enthusiasm.
    6. Unlocking New Potential: The course has unlocked potential I didn’t know I had, empowering me to pursue goals with a strategic and innovative mindset.

    If you’re contemplating whether this course is worth your time, I can confidently say it’s an investment in yourself that will yield incredible returns. “Leaders of Learning” isn’t just a course—it’s a catalyst for growth, leadership, and success.